Dim Vavi's Daily Journal

This day. This year.  It was a wild ride, it challenged me in many ways.  But I became stronger and better hundredfold.  I live the best version of myself possible, and strive for even more.  No regrets.  No things I would want to change. Only opportunities to learn and enjoy life. Only experiences that add to it, one way or another. I am on my way to extreme happiness, joy and love.  And I will never stop. Next year will be even greater.  Let's Fucking Go.

Last workday of the year. Last bit of effort. Last coaching of that year too. It all seemed so distant, and now its tomorrow and I broke my heights. I keep switching between being at peace and relaxed, and being pushy to me and strict. It is hand to find a balance, but, guess what - my life will be ok in any way.  Read books, write my philosophies, share experiences.  I have a lot of people to share it with now.  I may certainly fall back to just enjoying what I have for some time.  Will it make me push better after a while?  Probably yeah, it just may take a couple of years.  Which is not bad by itself, I just want it faster.  Would I be willing to put in immense effort? For now I'm not sure. But in some weeks, months - definitely.  I would want to reach others' level.  I get to be among winners all my life from now on

It is all gonna be ok.  I guess that I will be my everyday's opening now. I am at peace most of the time.  It is awesome. Life just becomes enjoyable. I need people in my life - it all becomes better.  I can be happy by myself, but what is the point where there's no one to share it with.  I kinda calmed down about dating again.  Connection and intimacy are awesome. I will still look for girls in the background, but it's time to use what I have and refocus on blog, sharing and making money.  It is helping me with mindset and formulating my own philosophies greatly.  I will expand on it with videos and podcasts, especially for learning to talk properly and convey my thoughts.  For now though, writing creates me.

Thank you for everything and everyone I have in my life.  I am so deeply grateful for it.  I love how my days look like.  I love what I get to experience and be happy about.  I love for my breakdowns and low moments to exist.  I love that I have the opportunity to learn.  I love that I get to share it too, that I can write and record and make life of someone and the world slightly better.  Thank you! Last week taught me a lot.  I got to see my ups and downs, I got to listen to myself.  I got to become more peaceful and loving. I got to ask for help of others, in different ways, from throwing tantrums to asking directly and saying how I need that.  I got to see that the world (ZA WARUDO, couldn't resist, haha), wants me to be happy.  There is always something for me there.  It is beautiful. I love it all.  I want to love it.

I am ok. My life is ok.  It is actually awesome. But it is ok.  I am so grateful to have all I have in life.  I am so grateful I get to be in this world and experience it all: both happy and hard moments.  I am glad for all of it. I am happy to be alive.  Yesterday date was amazing. I didn't feel like I deserved that kind of connection and intimacy.  It is still hard for me to believe I can be that valuable for someone. For them to enjoy being around and with me, as I am right now. But I guess I do deserve it. Maybe I am valuable.  I know I will always be valuable to the most important person in my life - me.  But I guess I can also add to someone's life by just being myself.  It feels good to know that.  Surreal. Unbelievable. Strange.  But Good

I came such a long way…  I started as hating the world, people, women. Being jealous over anything. Not believing that life can change. Hating myself to the point of punishing. To the point of cutting my shoulders with knife. How I turned it all around… I love myself fully. I give gifts to myself. I cheer on people ahead of me and rejoice with their victories. Pull people later than me, give them a rope to get to my level faster. I love giving to the world. I love would giving back to me. I love world hurting me - it shows me something, always. I love everything. I am grateful for every moment in my life. I am happy often. And if not - Everything is ok. Mindset is really the most important aspect of life. Self-beliefs and stories shape the life. I am excited to help people get the best mindset ever

It is all ok. Everything is ok.  No matter what I do, it will be ok.  Nothing really does matter as much as I thought. I am starting to get that "You doesn't really matter to the world" thing.  It is good. Now I can go for whatever I want. Now I can look at my ego, give it a hug, and do the things to bring me fun. And if it will be suffering for some time - well that's the reality. Reality is beautiful no matter what.  Let's go enjoy it. One of my strong desires right now - get laid before the end of the year.  It is very possible. And it will be really meaningful to me. But if that doesn't happen - well, it is reality also.  It will be ok.  I may be frustrated. But ultimately I have myself and my dreams.  It's only up to me to make them happen.

This IS my story.  I write it this exact moment.  I don't really know what it will turn out to be. But I know that I damn enjoy writing it. I an excited to see what will come from under the pen of myself.  It is a comforting and thrilling action.  It is with me for life. It IS life. Yesterday was a good proof of the concept of doing something  © .  It really is that simple.  I start with 5 minutes and see how it goes. If after I want and feel myself to continue - go for it. If not - that's ok, some other time.  I trust myself 98% of the time now. Even in laziness. It is ok if I don't do much - then I need it.  I trust myself enough to question and see what works best for that moment. I am grateful for all I have in life.  I can wake up at 3:30, do reflections in candlelight, have a delightful handmade breakfast, enjoy the gym, write my thoughts and share them.  I can enjoy the calmness of early times, listen to soft crackles of fire...