Dim Vavi's Daily Journal

This IS my story.  I write it this exact moment.  I don't really know what it will turn out to be. But I know that I damn enjoy writing it. I an excited to see what will come from under the pen of myself.  It is a comforting and thrilling action.  It is with me for life. It IS life. Yesterday was a good proof of the concept of doing something  © .  It really is that simple.  I start with 5 minutes and see how it goes. If after I want and feel myself to continue - go for it. If not - that's ok, some other time.  I trust myself 98% of the time now. Even in laziness. It is ok if I don't do much - then I need it.  I trust myself enough to question and see what works best for that moment. I am grateful for all I have in life.  I can wake up at 3:30, do reflections in candlelight, have a delightful handmade breakfast, enjoy the gym, write my thoughts and share them.  I can enjoy the calmness of early times, listen to soft crackles of fire...

Reflections and being open comes easy in the morning, but I'm scared of it in the evening.  Shows how the morning rituals help. Hard tiredness closes me. Will want to work with it. The most peaceful time of my day - Morning Breakfast at 5AM with almost silent background and candlelights. There's something magical in that. It connects me to some great part, maybe not only me but the world around me.  I want to be open to it. Completely. This idea is not so vivid anymore, but I think it is because of my insecurities. What could be the worst in me posting openly? People can read it, be disgusted and averse.  I will lose clients. Friends. Lovers. Are they the people I want in my life then? If they cannot accept me, truly…  What can I gain from it? Practice being open. Step towards complete honesty. Putting my thoughts out there, allowing them to be noticed. Handling whatever outcome comes out. I think it gives me more than takes. It is a big experiment.