Dim Vavi's Daily Journal

Just write something.  It's hilarious how when you have no thoughts, and too many - it is the same result - I stop and not write anything.   Like with my yesterday's upload, I need to break that barrier. No matter how inappropriate it would be - it's all a comparison to someone greater.  "They wouldn't upload that shitty" - but what exactly is "shitty" for them, you, me, and everyone who'll read or listen to it?  Is there a 0,1% possibility that it would be helpful to anyone - YES!  Even if it is just to relate and not worry about quality - or be better.  It WILL always serve its purpose. And if not - it served its purpose to me.  I am enough. My thoughts are valuable to me. I am not forcing anyone to listen or read what I say But it is out there now... I allowed myself to be seen. Cuddles are another small cheatcode to life.  I cannot describe what happens, but the intimacy of them recharges my energy - my feminine energy. That thing I need to h...

Andy helped me understand one thing today - I Chose This Life.  It is one of the concepts I used regarding dating before - when I mould see happy couples white having no one, I would be fucking jealous.  Not anymore. I know why I have this life - I made it that way.  I'm not a victim here. It's applies to all life as well. Yesterday I had a dip into complete honesty and transparency.  While talking with a friend we covered personal topics that are really close to us.  I had the urge to be reactive, to hide into my shelf again and pretend I didn't mean that. To dismiss it all and bury my feelings and desires under some new story. That would have been a recipe for a disaster. It would not go anywhere. It would come over and over again. Until it blows in my face...  I did this before.  Not today though. I forced myself to stand tall, accept my emotions and then handle it. I opened up and described my thoughts pretty good.  I'm glad I did it. It is on...