Dim Vavi's Daily Journal

Persistence is the key.  Not desperation. Not crazy big actions. But small consistent every-day steps, compounded over time.  And doing all I can to stay at peace in the process. I never thought peace would become such an important thing in my life.  "Everything is ok" - one of the many life truths that Andy helped me to understand. It is ok. It is now. It is reality.  There's no point in arguing with it. It is here, immortal and immutable.  Future can be changed. Past - not.  Present can be reframed though, So that is what I will do. There's no point to desperation anymore. I'm higher than it. I transcended over obsessing with failure. I want to turn my head to the future now.  I want to find companions to go with.  And if not - I have myself.

This IS my story.  I write it this exact moment.  I don't really know what it will turn out to be. But I know that I damn enjoy writing it. I an excited to see what will come from under the pen of myself.  It is a comforting and thrilling action.  It is with me for life. It IS life. Yesterday was a good proof of the concept of doing something  © .  It really is that simple.  I start with 5 minutes and see how it goes. If after I want and feel myself to continue - go for it. If not - that's ok, some other time.  I trust myself 98% of the time now. Even in laziness. It is ok if I don't do much - then I need it.  I trust myself enough to question and see what works best for that moment. I am grateful for all I have in life.  I can wake up at 3:30, do reflections in candlelight, have a delightful handmade breakfast, enjoy the gym, write my thoughts and share them.  I can enjoy the calmness of early times, listen to soft crackles of fire...

I am in relaxation and low effort period. I have some worries that this period is gonna last more than I want it to.  But it іs gonna last as much as it needs.  I am making progress - every day, just a little bit better. If I would not do much this week - it is OK. I know that it will be for a reason then. What I can do is to do a bare minimum.  Then stop and ask myself if I can continue, and if it will make my life better.  That's all it takes to have that small step made.  I made a huge progress yesterday on a date.  I was able to be really honest and straightforward. And nothing bad happened - even more, it was awesome, fun and felt good. I was able to hold her hand. To talk openly about what I want, including boundaries and kissing.  We shared a lot of our experiences with dating. I was really assertive

"I want you to steal from me" - that is the theme of today's inspirations.  It mostly applies to ideas and concepts, but to anything else as well.  Firstly - by doing it we add credibility - it matters so much I want it for me.  I wouldn't want shit that I cannot use even as a gift - it will just clutter.  But here I want something that it's hard to have and still going for it. It. Is. Validation. Yesterday was big on realisations.  I don't need to get laid that desperately anymore. I can build up to it.  Doing 1% improvements over time, shaping relationship and eventually I get there. Maybe there are more efficient methods, but I don't see them for now, especially in Serbia.  So I'm happy to take my time, as long as there is progression and I learn much from it. Opening up haven't really clicked yet.  I need to share more personal stuff, my deep and intimate thoughts.  But I will build to it as well. Another idea I want to practice - using m...