Dim Vavi's Daily Journal

This day. This year.  It was a wild ride, it challenged me in many ways.  But I became stronger and better hundredfold.  I live the best version of myself possible, and strive for even more.  No regrets.  No things I would want to change. Only opportunities to learn and enjoy life. Only experiences that add to it, one way or another. I am on my way to extreme happiness, joy and love.  And I will never stop. Next year will be even greater.  Let's Fucking Go.

Last workday of the year. Last bit of effort. Last coaching of that year too. It all seemed so distant, and now its tomorrow and I broke my heights. I keep switching between being at peace and relaxed, and being pushy to me and strict. It is hand to find a balance, but, guess what - my life will be ok in any way.  Read books, write my philosophies, share experiences.  I have a lot of people to share it with now.  I may certainly fall back to just enjoying what I have for some time.  Will it make me push better after a while?  Probably yeah, it just may take a couple of years.  Which is not bad by itself, I just want it faster.  Would I be willing to put in immense effort? For now I'm not sure. But in some weeks, months - definitely.  I would want to reach others' level.  I get to be among winners all my life from now on

Persistence is the key.  Not desperation. Not crazy big actions. But small consistent every-day steps, compounded over time.  And doing all I can to stay at peace in the process. I never thought peace would become such an important thing in my life.  "Everything is ok" - one of the many life truths that Andy helped me to understand. It is ok. It is now. It is reality.  There's no point in arguing with it. It is here, immortal and immutable.  Future can be changed. Past - not.  Present can be reframed though, So that is what I will do. There's no point to desperation anymore. I'm higher than it. I transcended over obsessing with failure. I want to turn my head to the future now.  I want to find companions to go with.  And if not - I have myself.

This IS my story.  I write it this exact moment.  I don't really know what it will turn out to be. But I know that I damn enjoy writing it. I an excited to see what will come from under the pen of myself.  It is a comforting and thrilling action.  It is with me for life. It IS life. Yesterday was a good proof of the concept of doing something  © .  It really is that simple.  I start with 5 minutes and see how it goes. If after I want and feel myself to continue - go for it. If not - that's ok, some other time.  I trust myself 98% of the time now. Even in laziness. It is ok if I don't do much - then I need it.  I trust myself enough to question and see what works best for that moment. I am grateful for all I have in life.  I can wake up at 3:30, do reflections in candlelight, have a delightful handmade breakfast, enjoy the gym, write my thoughts and share them.  I can enjoy the calmness of early times, listen to soft crackles of fire...

Yesterday was packed to the T.  I had 9 hours of different human contact... FFS.  I was fucking exhausted at the end.  But I saw great progress there. In approaches I stopped chasing after girls - the thing that always gave me frustration. I am ok with starting convo, it takes little energy now, even while I am anxious all the time.  But them not wanting to talk and me thinking that I at least should make it less awkward - it is not for me.  It drains my self-respect.  I say after them - "have a nice day", but do I really want to make that effort to someone who don't want to consider me?  FUCK YES or no… I want to internalize it.  It is no fun for me otherwise.  Trying to convince them to talk to me - why?  I am enough by myself, I don't need to convince her of that.  It feels counterproductive to what I'm trying to believe about myself.   And, fuck.. I have 4 friends now. One from before, and 3 here now, with different areas o...