Dim Vavi's Daily Journal

It is all gonna be ok.  I guess that I will be my everyday's opening now. I am at peace most of the time.  It is awesome. Life just becomes enjoyable. I need people in my life - it all becomes better.  I can be happy by myself, but what is the point where there's no one to share it with.  I kinda calmed down about dating again.  Connection and intimacy are awesome. I will still look for girls in the background, but it's time to use what I have and refocus on blog, sharing and making money.  It is helping me with mindset and formulating my own philosophies greatly.  I will expand on it with videos and podcasts, especially for learning to talk properly and convey my thoughts.  For now though, writing creates me.

This IS my story.  I write it this exact moment.  I don't really know what it will turn out to be. But I know that I damn enjoy writing it. I an excited to see what will come from under the pen of myself.  It is a comforting and thrilling action.  It is with me for life. It IS life. Yesterday was a good proof of the concept of doing something  © .  It really is that simple.  I start with 5 minutes and see how it goes. If after I want and feel myself to continue - go for it. If not - that's ok, some other time.  I trust myself 98% of the time now. Even in laziness. It is ok if I don't do much - then I need it.  I trust myself enough to question and see what works best for that moment. I am grateful for all I have in life.  I can wake up at 3:30, do reflections in candlelight, have a delightful handmade breakfast, enjoy the gym, write my thoughts and share them.  I can enjoy the calmness of early times, listen to soft crackles of fire...

I'm not in the mood to write today entry - I feel fucking drained.  Frustration on my dating adds too much to it. I cannot seem to be able to find girls that I like that are also interested in me sexually. It fuels my sense of unworthiness.  And highlights it as well - it is one of the most important things to work on, and I do.  But in the meantime, it frustrates me so much now.  Over the course of 6 months I had no people, no girls in my life that I really liked. I had some sexual stuff, but they weren't the people I wanted it much - we were too different. I still have my best friend - family for me - the girl that stayed back in Moscow.  I also reconnected to awesome girl I was seeing here 6 months ago.  Now, she IS the girl I'm perfectly happy to be friend with. I trust her, we shared a lot and I really want to grow our relationship further, no matter what exactly it will be.  I want to build it to be sturdy. I won't quit at the first sight of trou...