Dim Vavi's Daily Journal

Thank you for everything and everyone I have in my life.  I am so deeply grateful for it.  I love how my days look like.  I love what I get to experience and be happy about.  I love for my breakdowns and low moments to exist.  I love that I have the opportunity to learn.  I love that I get to share it too, that I can write and record and make life of someone and the world slightly better.  Thank you! Last week taught me a lot.  I got to see my ups and downs, I got to listen to myself.  I got to become more peaceful and loving. I got to ask for help of others, in different ways, from throwing tantrums to asking directly and saying how I need that.  I got to see that the world (ZA WARUDO, couldn't resist, haha), wants me to be happy.  There is always something for me there.  It is beautiful. I love it all.  I want to love it.

I am ok. My life is ok.  It is actually awesome. But it is ok.  I am so grateful to have all I have in life.  I am so grateful I get to be in this world and experience it all: both happy and hard moments.  I am glad for all of it. I am happy to be alive.  Yesterday date was amazing. I didn't feel like I deserved that kind of connection and intimacy.  It is still hard for me to believe I can be that valuable for someone. For them to enjoy being around and with me, as I am right now. But I guess I do deserve it. Maybe I am valuable.  I know I will always be valuable to the most important person in my life - me.  But I guess I can also add to someone's life by just being myself.  It feels good to know that.  Surreal. Unbelievable. Strange.  But Good

Feelings govern over all of us.  When I notice then, I can then do something for me. This hierarchy of energy levels can be applied to any interactions I have. I'm gonna remember it - that is one of the keys to knowing myself. I love being open. I love trying it.  It is a vulnerability, but it is peace also.  What are my worries? What am I afraid of?  I fear that I won't be able to switch to blog and coaching, that I won't find my voice.  I'm afraid that I won't be able to build meaningful connections.  I worry that I won't have it in me to go all in and change my life.  I am afraid that I won't be true to myself. I'm afraid of losing all I have in my life.  I am terrified to die.  I am terrified of being content, complacent, mediocre, normal .