Dim Vavi's Daily Journal

It's not the right time. I made this excuse before enrolling in coaching.  I thought everything needs to be perfect, for stars to align before I will be able to do that.  All the times in my life when I thought like that, I've been proven wrong. I would say that ever the best time can turn into mediocre, or may never come, more likely. And the worst usually becomes best just from having really low expectations and showing up.  I had so much success with this coaching in just 3 weeks.  I had epiphanies in the first week. And that is what happens if we just allow it.   I believe I am very lucky. Always has been. It makes it hard to see all I do as personal actionment. Ego...  But do I need to see it like that, or do I want results?  If I found people that gave me success, that still means I made effort to connect with them.  I facilitated the opportunity It is my doing. Everything that happens is my choice - I didn't run away. I stayed and allowed myself a success.

Reflections and being open comes easy in the morning, but I'm scared of it in the evening.  Shows how the morning rituals help. Hard tiredness closes me. Will want to work with it. The most peaceful time of my day - Morning Breakfast at 5AM with almost silent background and candlelights. There's something magical in that. It connects me to some great part, maybe not only me but the world around me.  I want to be open to it. Completely. This idea is not so vivid anymore, but I think it is because of my insecurities. What could be the worst in me posting openly? People can read it, be disgusted and averse.  I will lose clients. Friends. Lovers. Are they the people I want in my life then? If they cannot accept me, truly…  What can I gain from it? Practice being open. Step towards complete honesty. Putting my thoughts out there, allowing them to be noticed. Handling whatever outcome comes out. I think it gives me more than takes. It is a big experiment. 

Hello. I'm Dim Vavi.  I start this personal blog space as an attempt to share more of myself with the world. My original intention - "I want to create personal blog where I will just post contents of my daily reflections and personal journal. It will be a huge step towards being real. I will allow myself to be completely honest and real there and will see.what happens" One of my main life goals - to be completely open, transparent and honest in every area of my life.  It is still hard for me to do that in in-person interactions at this moment (Dec 2022). I want this blog for its ability to be seen by anyone anywhere - people across the world and closest friends alike. I have a lot of stigmas, about self-worth, accepting my desires, sex, business and overall my life goals. I believe this place may help me with accepting and openly talking about it. Which will transfer to my in-person interaction and make it easy there. I may be naive, but I fully believe in the world.  I l