Approaches. Self-respect. FUCK YES or no. Friends. Perseverance. 2022-12-05

Yesterday was packed to the T. 


I had 9 hours of different human contact... FFS. 

I was fucking exhausted at the end. 


But I saw great progress there. In approaches I stopped chasing after girls - the thing that always gave me frustration. I am ok with starting convo, it takes little energy now, even while I am anxious all the time. 

But them not wanting to talk and me thinking that I at least should make it less awkward - it is not for me. 

It drains my self-respect. 

I say after them - "have a nice day", but do I really want to make that effort to someone who don't want to consider me? 


FUCK YES or no…

I want to internalize it. 

It is no fun for me otherwise. 

Trying to convince them to talk to me - why? 

I am enough by myself, I don't need to convince her of that. 

It feels counterproductive to what I'm trying to believe about myself.

 

And, fuck.. I have 4 friends now. One from before, and 3 here now, with different areas of life. 

That is awesome. I will improve it too.


I kept going from one action to another. I pushed myself hard and persevered.

I need that sometimes to have efficient results. And cool memories.

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