Approaches. Self-respect. FUCK YES or no. Friends. Perseverance. 2022-12-05

Yesterday was packed to the T. 


I had 9 hours of different human contact... FFS. 

I was fucking exhausted at the end. 


But I saw great progress there. In approaches I stopped chasing after girls - the thing that always gave me frustration. I am ok with starting convo, it takes little energy now, even while I am anxious all the time. 

But them not wanting to talk and me thinking that I at least should make it less awkward - it is not for me. 

It drains my self-respect. 

I say after them - "have a nice day", but do I really want to make that effort to someone who don't want to consider me? 


FUCK YES or no…

I want to internalize it. 

It is no fun for me otherwise. 

Trying to convince them to talk to me - why? 

I am enough by myself, I don't need to convince her of that. 

It feels counterproductive to what I'm trying to believe about myself.

 

And, fuck.. I have 4 friends now. One from before, and 3 here now, with different areas of life. 

That is awesome. I will improve it too.


I kept going from one action to another. I pushed myself hard and persevered.

I need that sometimes to have efficient results. And cool memories.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Grateful and In love with life. Asking for help. World is beautiful. 2022-12-27

Thank you for everything and everyone I have in my life.  I am so deeply grateful for it.  I love how my days look like.  I love what I get to experience and be happy about.  I love for my breakdowns and low moments to exist.  I love that I have the opportunity to learn.  I love that I get to share it too, that I can write and record and make life of someone and the world slightly better.  Thank you! Last week taught me a lot.  I got to see my ups and downs, I got to listen to myself.  I got to become more peaceful and loving. I got to ask for help of others, in different ways, from throwing tantrums to asking directly and saying how I need that.  I got to see that the world (ZA WARUDO, couldn't resist, haha), wants me to be happy.  There is always something for me there.  It is beautiful. I love it all.  I want to love it.
Read more

Peace. People in life. Intimacy. Calming down with dating. Writing. 2022-12-28

It is all gonna be ok.  I guess that I will be my everyday's opening now. I am at peace most of the time.  It is awesome. Life just becomes enjoyable. I need people in my life - it all becomes better.  I can be happy by myself, but what is the point where there's no one to share it with.  I kinda calmed down about dating again.  Connection and intimacy are awesome. I will still look for girls in the background, but it's time to use what I have and refocus on blog, sharing and making money.  It is helping me with mindset and formulating my own philosophies greatly.  I will expand on it with videos and podcasts, especially for learning to talk properly and convey my thoughts.  For now though, writing creates me.
Read more

Breakdown, ego and sharing low moments. Business and sex balance. Areas to work on. Improving mindset. 2022-12-20

Yesterday I didn't do much - and it was very useful.  I got to see a lot of fears, share in the group and see where I could improve - that is the power of coaching.  In normal peer groups I would be intimidated to post it - because I kinda have to prove myself there. But in coaching - I paid for it - and I believe I can (and deserve) to receive help. I trust the process - and it helps.  I also noticed how me finally getting laid can push back my progress in other areas, specifically in business. Or maybe it shines light on my mental stuff and ego I better deal with?  Either way, I now see the value in both sides - I thought not having sex is what gave me frustration and distracted from putting in effort. But at the same time it was giving me good focus, more time and energy. I can clearly see now how it may have been beneficial. On the other hand, getting my dating life handled gave me more peace. I feel happier and less pressure -but got to deal with complacency, le...
Read more