Reasoning with myself. Support I get. Why? Plan. 2022-12-22

It is the era of reasoning with myself 

What do I think will help me and my body? 

- Going back to sleep till 8AM. Not going to the gym. Staying at home. Having late breakfast. 

Why do I think it will help?

- It will give me more time to relax, both mentally and physically. Not spend my energy on pushing myself, when I may need it for my day. 

What will justify it for me? What do I need not to blame myself?

- I will go to the shower when I wake up. I will do banded sit-ups for 3x10 reps. I will write my journal in the middle of my late breakfast. I will take my time and focus on food without distractions. 

Instead of playing games afterwards I will make a coffee and read book for 1h

I will post a twit with my state and takeaway 

I will start writing a Reddit post about my paranoia. 

I will look through my job tasks and make 2PRs


Compromising with myself... Interesting venue I haven't had before. I don't know why it all happened. I clearly don't see how I overloaded myself - people have full time jobs, physically hard and survive for years. 

I broke after 2 months. Is it a sign that I'm weak and a fucking hypocrite? Maybe. 

On maybe there is something that I'm missing.


More of the reason is returning to me. I had some outcries in group and now there are people supporting me - and I cannot see why. I have to believe them, but I cannot see it myself. 

I don't think I do much. I could do much better. 

I already was a lazy fuck. Now even more. I hope at some point I will see what they see in me.

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